Renee Writes

The calendar page rips away
and the numbers roll over
and the ball drops.

Time moves forward
and there is no pause button.
A roller coaster cart,
the cold metal bar
clanked down and locked.
No turning back.
No getting out.

Like a child being pulled away
from their favorite toy,
I grab for the doorframe,
wrap my fingers around the molding.
But who am I kidding?
Me vs Time.
Time is so huge.
It doesn’t even notice that
I’m caught in its wake.

How can I go forward into another year
when you are forever in last year?

I know the answer,
but it makes me so tired.

I will have to find new ways to see you.
Hold you in my heart
instead of in my arms.
I will keep myself open
for unexpected glimpses of you.
I could really use your help, sweet girl.
Please let me see you in the new year.